How so? Think about it. Since childhood they have been bombarded by advertising, promises about the wonders of this product and that, and services and shops that truly care about the individual. And time and again they have been let down: high quality shoes that wear out too fast, the hot Christmas toy that disappoints so quickly, the store that demonstrates through poor customer service, fraud, and even bankruptcy showing that truly the almighty dollar is what they really care about.
And then we can go on to all the media coverage of trusted individuals and institutions that have let us down. Scandals in churches. Corrupt politicians. Car recall issues. Abuse of power in the armed forces.
It all gets pretty depressing, and today’s parents have on the whole chosen to simply trust nobody, protecting their own above all else. And along comes our Lutheran Schools, promoting unconditional love and safe, nurturing environments. Too good to be true, that’s the first thought of parents. Our schools can’t really be that nice. What are we not saying? What are we hiding?
The only way to overcome this skepticism of parents is to simply acknowledge that trust must be earned, and that we must work very hard to do so. Here are some key ways of relating with parents that may help:
- Over-communicate. Don’t assume parents know anything, or that when they hear about something going on they’ll simply trust you know what you are doing. Consistently let them know what you are up to in the classroom. Speak with them about struggles students are experiencing. Partner with parents in developing solutions.
- Answer questions. When parents ask about how things are going, what you are doing, what curriculum you are using, why are choosing that discipline technique… always answer. Avoid defensiveness - rather, take every opportunity to share with confidence why you do what you do. If you can’t communicate with confidence about your choices, you need to re-evaluate what you are choosing to do.
- Welcome parents in. The quickest way to damage the trust you are trying to build is to act like you have something to hide. Provide parents with many, many opportunities to be in your classroom and involved in your program. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and define roles - in fact, this generation of parents appreciates clarity of expectations - but telling them they cannot be present without having an excellent reason is a recipe to distrust.
- Finally, engage your advocates. As you do build trust amongst your parents, rely on those who believe in you to help bring others into the fold. As you gain footholds into making stronger relationships, use such connections as bridges of trust to others who don’t know you as well.
Trust is hard won, but another aspect of today’s parents is this: as they don’t give trust easily, when they feel you have earned it, they will fight for you. They give trust when they believe it is deserved, and they are confident then that they were right to do so. Such loyal parents will stand up for the school and for you, will speak to others for our school ministry, and will serve as our greatest school growth avenue.